


Remind Me to Buy You The Most Beautiful Dress

by Bonesout



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: F/M, Why Did I Write This?, fjord gets evil, this fic isnt even logical, this was an old draft i found
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-03
Updated: 2019-08-03
Packaged: 2020-07-30 03:55:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,983
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20090872
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bonesout/pseuds/Bonesout
Summary: Fjord turns to Ukatoa and captures Caleb and Jester. The two of them are convinced they're gonna die, so they make sure they say and...do a few things before that happens.





	Remind Me to Buy You The Most Beautiful Dress

**Author's Note:**

> I found this deep in my drafts, and so I thought, why not publish it. I DONT WRITE FANFIC THOUGH so pls excuse my untidiness

Jester yelped as her body scraped against the hard floor of the cavern. She heard a rip - her dress- and winced at the sound, but pushed the thought away, more concerned about her situation at hand. Normally, she might get in a fit of tears; the dress may be a bit old, but it was a gift from her mother. Maybe it would make a good excuse to go visit her - no. Focus.  
"Fjord, I'm...I'm not leaving without Caleb!" She screeched, pushing herself up, whilst wiping her nose. Was she crying? She didn't remember... she trembled as she stood up, keeping a stoic expression against Fjord, and positioning her body to protect Caleb.  
Behind her was Caleb, hunched over. Coughing. Blood. "No, Jes...you must go...." he wheezed. His coat lay in shreds on the ground. He coughed once more, clutching the wound at his side that Fjord had inflicted just moments ago. If only Fjord hadn't stolen her holy symbol, she could heal Caleb....they could get out of here...  
Fjord stepped closer to them. "Jester, I know how much you care for him," The half-orc replied, his voice deeper and huskier than she was used to. His eyes shone bright in the darkness, but there was something wrong with them. Something corrupted in them. "But he's too dangerous now," he continued. "And I realize that now. I realize that I've been holding back, and now it is my time to give proper recognition to my-" he paused, summoning the falchion as he finished his final word. "Potential."  
And with that, Fjord swung out at Jester, the blade cutting through the cold air of his cavern. Jester closed her eyes, and held her arms up in an X formation, attempting to shield herself, when the blade made a scratching halt against something. Jester peeked her eyes open, seeing a shimmering shield of magic pulsing against the blade. She heard Caleb grunt from behind her, and turned around to see him holding his free hand up to cast the spell. "Go," he mouthed to her, blood still dripping on the floor.  
Before Jester could yell in protest, the magical shield shattered. The blade flew from Fjord's grasp, and vanished into thin air. Fjord was blasted a few feet back, as was Jester in the opposite direction, and Caleb officially sank to the ground in defeat. Jester's vision went hazy. No, Caleb, I have to save him. I have to save...Caleb...  
"Fjor...d, no..." she whispered, her body betraying her. The half-orc stepped over her body, as she used the last bit of her strength to look over her shoulder to see the wizard on the ground, unmoving, and Fjord grab his limp body by his shirt. Jester's vision went dark, and her body equally limp.  
~~~  
Jester awoke as Fjord was grabbing one of her arms, forcing her up, and dragging her against the ground. Jester's senses seized, and she immediately began to scream, hitting him with her free arm, and even going as far to bite him. He flinched, but that was all. Whatever Fjord had given into, whatever evil, had given him much more power than she was used to see in him wield. She was so much physically stronger than him usually...but now...?  
"I hate you! I hate you!" Jester spat at him. "You can't do this! We're your friends, Fjord, your friends!" She screamed profanities at him, continuing to do her best to harm him. He didn't look at her, moving almost robotically, dragging her away. "Caleb...he's dying, Fjord! You won't- you- Beau and Nott, and Caduceus and Yasha, they will find you! Gods, they will rip you apart! Fjord, we trusted you! I can't believe- I can't believe I thought of you as-" she screamed again, and finally, a small reaction came out of Fjord, his face twisting into something painful, something unpleasant.  
"I won't kill you two," Fjord mumbled, opening a large metallic door. "I changed my mind. U'katoa might need you two after all." Jester kicked him. "I wish things could be different, but I also wish you would understand." He threw Jester into the room, nothing but the light of a nearby lantern lighting the room. Jester's body scraped against the floor yet again, and she gasped. Her elbows stung.  
"Fick dich," a voice in the back of the room hissed. Jester glanced up, and saw Caleb, dirtier than normal, his white shirt stained with blood, his eyes full of rage, as he spat at the half-orc. He tried to lunge forward, but his hands were chained to the wall, giving him only room to kneel. It sounded like Fjord chuckled, but Jester was too occupied scanning over Caleb's injured body to pay attention. She felt the vibrations through the floor as the door closed behind her, and with that, she scrambled up, tears brimming her eyes.  
"Caleb, Caleb!" She gasped, getting close to him, but careful to not touch him. He looked like his whole body would crumple if she did, so instead she scanned him with her fingers hovering over his injuries. "Fjord. He took my holy symbol, I can't heal you," she breathed.  
"Just a few scratches, liebling," he answered, sounding tired. "Nothing Frumpkin hasn't done before." A lock of his ginger hair fell in front of his face. He was breathing very slowly, Jester paying attention to the slow rise and fall of his chest. Her own fingers trembled, hovering over the wound, and then staring into his deep blue eyes. He gave her a weak smile.  
"We will have to do this-" she fumbled around her dress, grabbing the curtain-like sleeve extensions painted with pink flowers, and ripped it cleanly from the stitch. "The old fashioned way." She ripped the other side.  
"But your mother gave that to you," Caleb protested. Jester shook her head.  
"I think she will understand," she answered, her hand hovering over the cut on his lower left abdomen. "This will sting, just a little," she warned as she peeled away the soaked white shirt. Caleb grunted through his teeth, squeezing his eyes shut. His body crumpled slightly, and Jester wished his hand were free so she could help him fight his reflexes. Her guts twisted, not because of the sight, but because she hated to hurt Caleb more than he already was. The bleeding had mostly stopped, but Jester wanted to be sure the wound healed as well as it could. She wrapped the cloth of her sleeves around his torso, which was incredibly taut from the fight they had both just faced. It was strange, seeing him like this. Normally he had a baggy coat covering his body, wounds that needed healing never needing this much exposure. She supposed all the walking and fighting they did resulted in his tone body. All the more curious, she thought. She was very gentle as she tied the makeshift bandages securely, and tucked the loose ends.  
"Thank you...thank you," he breathed, hanging his head in relief. "I don't know...what my condition would be if it were not for you, liebling." Jester grinned, her brow turned in a worried state. He looked back at her with an equivalent expression. He looked so tired. But more than anything, relieved. Jester sighed, tucking a piece of her blue hair behind her pointed ear, then adjusting herself to talk to him better. She had to help him get his mind off the pain, since all they could do now...was wait.  
"I am a cleric, am I not?" She teased, trying to lift his spirits. He nodded, a single sound of amusement escaping his mouth. A chuckle, though pained. It always sent a surge of joy through Jester when he did that. Most of the others had a difficult time getting Caleb's expression to crack, but Jester never had a problem, no matter how useless the joke. It made her feel useful, wanted, and the sincerity in Caleb's warm eyes told her he truly appreciated her efforts. Jester brushed away the lock of hair that had fallen in front of his face, and began concocting another witty conversation to crack. Their eyes locked, and Jester let her hand linger as he seemed to scan her, like it was the last time he would ever see her. Then Caleb's expression turned serious.  
"Jester, you must promise me," he nudged his cheek with her hand that was fixing his hair. "When Fjord comes back, you will do everything in your power to get out of here." Jester frowned almost immediately, and slowly shook her head.  
"No, Caleb. If I leave you here, you will either die of blood loss, or at the hands of Fjord and U'katoa," she placed both of her hands on his cheeks, making sure he was paying attention. She pulled his face towards hers, making herself very clear. "I will not let that happen. I will not."  
Caleb sighed, lowering his head at her reply. His scruff against her skin was warm, and familiar compared to the rest of the cell. This close, his beard sort of twisted into a crimson fire. From afar it looked unkempt, but here she could see magic was weaving his scruff into something unique, and beautiful.  
Jester lowered her gaze, to meet Caleb's once more. He peeked at her, unsure of how to sway her. His lower lashes were incredibly long. "I was afraid you would say that," he responded, grabbing her attention again. "But it won't be easy. You need the keys to the chains, and to carry my body. I don't- I cannot be another burden for you, Jester." He gulped, careful with his next words. "I know that Fjord's...sudden changes have already been hard enough on you."  
Jester shuddered, letting go of Caleb as memories of Fjord pressing through her mind. The boat, their underwater 'kiss', her mother gushing over him...so many moments, all crumbling to dust. Fjord had not only been a friend, but a crush as well. A fantasy she had built in her mind around him. And somehow, she thought he had built that same fantasy too. She had been so naive, to believe that her small corner of her world was the only one, and that anything she gave in this world would be reciprocated. Love included. But alas, she learned the hard way that love was unpredictable, and sometimes was not where she hoped it would be. Fjord had other plans, other lusts. Jester was embarrassed to realize how much time she had wasted, all for naught.  
"Not every romance story is a fairytale," she muttered, her cheeks heating up. She had given Fjord so much space in her mind, in her heart, and in her trust. Yet here was Caleb, dying at the hand of his doing. Caleb had beads of sweat across his forehead as they continued to stare at one another, contemplating their situation. Jester pulled up one of her sleeves, and dabbed away the sweat on his face.  
"And don't even worry about your body. I'm really strong," she said, changing the subject back to her witty comebacks. Caleb chuckled. The warm sound made their dire situation seem all the more hopeful, and Jester feel warmer despite the chill of the cell.  
"Yes, you are. Both in your arms, and in your emotions." Caleb coughed, and Jester smiled, her expression full of melancholy. Oh. It was hard pretending to be cheerful when someone she really cared for was suffering right in front of her face.  
Jester glanced around the cell, and noticed to the far corner there was a bucket of water. She stood up slowly, her muscles beginning to ache. She hoisted the bucket of water next to Caleb, then ripped another piece of her dress, this time the lower skirt part, just above her knees.  
"Remind me to buy you the most beautiful dress in all of Wildemount when we get out of here, ja?" Caleb slurred, watching Jester dip the cloth into the water. Jester grinned, crouching down to begin washing his hands and arms that were attached to the chains.  
"And I'll buy you a new coat," She responded. "You saved my tail out there." With the mention of her tail, she flicked it at his face playfully, expecting a laugh, but no sound came from him. Oh.was that weird? Jester gulped, and began to clean his hands, fighting the embarrassment. She scrubbed at his fingers and knuckles, where dried blood was caked on. Beneath them, his fingers were a beautiful ash brown, like his fire magic had been stained onto his fingers. It was beautiful, and jester brushed her fingers against his, watching them twitch slightly at her touch. Caleb's fingers and wrists were red from the metal, and the force of gravity making all the blood leave his arms. She massaged the water, hoping it would help ease the pins and needles he was probably feeling. She scrubbed more, getting closer to his head as she went down. His veins were incredibly prominent, in both his hands and arms. So many callouses, and so many years of hard work, and hard pain etched into him. The scars of the shards caught her eye. She remembered when Caleb had first shown them to her, and how she felt angry to think about what Trent had made Caleb go through. Now, she looked at them, and saw how far Caleb had come. It was mesmerizing.  
She finally got to his face, and then squeezed the cloth out, then soaked it once more with fresher water. She began to massage his face, clearing the grime and sending relief through his muscles. Caleb let out a small moan, closing his eyes as Jester worked. It was nice to see him relax at last. She moved her way down to his neck, and he arched his head up so she could reach easier.  
"Make sure you clean yourself too, liebling," Caleb whispered as she came back down to his torso wound. "And drink some. You will need your strength."  
"There's plenty for both of us," Jester responded coolly. She placed both of her hands on his sides, feeling him writhe beneath her at her sudden cool touch. She was careful to avoid the makeshift bandages. She snaked her hands under his shirt, cleaning any random cuts, stains, anything that was causing Caleb discomfort. She could not only hear, but feel his breathing, and let her fingers linger a second too long before removing them. When she was complete, she looked back at Caleb, who's face, despite the cold water, had a pink flush to it. Jester grinned, pleased at his reaction, and her tail flicked just beneath his chin without her even thinking. It has a mind of its own- Caleb's chains rattled, and his blush intensified, then he went perfectly still, avoiding her eyes.  
Jester tucked another piece of hair behind her ear, realizing how strange that whole scenario might have been under different circumstances. But I'm a cleric. I'm just doing my job! Jester cleared her throat, then cupped her hands into the bucket of water. She scooped up the clear water, letting it ripple in her palms. She carefully stepped towards Caleb, then knelt so her hands could meet his mouth.  
"Open," she instructed. Caleb's lips parted, and Jester let the water flow into his mouth, watching him gulp it down. The tips of his hair that just would not stay out of his face had little droplets of water that fell onto the ground, and his face was still moist from Jester's cleaning. It gleamed from the small light of the lantern, and Jester was amazed at how much a piece of cloth and some water could do to his complexion.  
"Could I have a little more, please?" Caleb asked quietly, licking his lips to capture any loose droplets. Jester nodded, and scooped some more water, this time her face turning pink as she gave the thirsty wizard some more. Caleb gulped, Jester noting how his Adam's apple bobbed. A little of the water spilled on to her lap, and Jester flushed, snapping back her attention to giving Caleb water. Her hands were empty though. Caleb was staring at her, his eyes droopy, but more than ever did he look refreshed.  
Caleb's cheek nudged Jester's empty hands, the recent moisture from both his face and her hands clinging to one another. Jester was caught off guard, noticing she hadn't moved her hands.  
"Caleb," Jester whispered. "How are you feeling?"  
Caleb moved his head so that his lips were touching Jester's hand. He kissed it gently, sending a pulse of serenity through Jester. She didn't move her hand.  
"I feel...like I've lied to you," he responded after what seemed like centuries. He kissed her hand again, his scruff ticking her palm as she cupped his jaw. Jester's shoulders relaxed, curious at what else Caleb had to say...or do. "Jester, I won't make it out of here. Even if we do escape, we are far from the others."  
"Please don't say that," she begged, nudging her body forward. "We will meet in the middle. We have to. I will bring you home, Caleb." She brushed his hair away again, this time her hand lingering over his hair, and then trailing down to his neck. "You've just lost a lot of blood, you're probably saying things you don't mean-"  
"No," Caleb interrupted, leaning his body forward to Jester. "I am not saying this out of hopeless emotion. I am saying this because I wish I treasured you more, I wish I had given you the praise you deserved, liebling." Jester's eyes widened, surprised by his sure words. Jester cocked her head to one side, letting blue curls fall against her face.  
"You...treat me better than anyone I've ever known. You make me feel like I am worth having," she whispered, setting a finger over his chest. "You have a big heart, Caleb." Caleb's blush went wild, and he shook his head gently.  
"No, Jester. It's you who sees too much good in me, you who-" Caleb looked like he was trying to nudge closer, but the chains were restraining him. They rattled, and he looked annoyed. Jester noticed, and helped close the distance by leaning her forehead on his. He gasped, and leaned back, allowing her to push closer."You who bring out the good in me," he finished, shutting his eyes, and breathing slowly out of his mouth.  
Jester smiled, and her heart guided her to a spot under Caleb's ear, where she very softly kissed it. She felt Caleb shudder beneath her lips, and she continued along his scruffy, yet sharp jaw, her hands holding his head up, keeping him steady. This is what I want.  
"That feels nice..." Caleb whispered. "Your lips are...very cooling..." he nuzzled her head the best he could, since his hands were restrained, and Jester giggled. The poor wizard looked so desperate to hold her. His chains rattled, fingers flexing, almost whimpering at how desperate he was to reciprocate. Have I always felt this way? She asked herself. Has he always felt this way? Jester lowered her lips to his neck, and kissed, letting herself linger along his veins, the cool touch causing a moan to escape Caleb's mouth.  
"Liebling I should have told you sooner," he whispered. "Over time, you have become so important to me."  
"Mm," Jester went back to Caleb's face, kissing his warm cheeks. He squirmed, the chains rattling again.  
"I was just...so scared to hurt you. I've hurt a lot of people." Jester wound one of her hands in the ginger curls of the wizard. "And you clearly felt something more towards Fjord...ri-right..." His eyes settled on her face, looking more mischievous than usual, and he was obsessed with it.  
"Oh Caleb, hush," Jester whispered, daring to close the distance between their lips. Caleb gulped. "I had to grow and learn from my...my first crush, but now I realize I've had someone who truly appreciates and sees me the way I am," she continued. Caleb glanced at her lips again, a few water droplets falling to their legs which were now becoming entangled. "I'm sorry it took me so long." Caleb tried to pull himself forward, to show her he too wanted to forgive her for hiding from him. But the chains...  
He glanced at her parted lips again, and Jester caught herself looking at his.  
"Just kiss me," Caleb begged.  
And without another word, Jester pressed her lips against the wizard, who kissed back with hunger. Jester ran her fingers across his hair, pressing her lips on his again. Jester hoisted herself on Caleb's lap, cupping his jaw so he would have an easier angle. Caleb lingered on her lower lip, biting the bottom of it ever so gently, then replacing it with another kiss. They were both tired, and inexperienced...but this felt good.  
Caleb was breathing heavy, and Jester could feel the rise and fall of his whole body as they went on. Oh she wish she had the keys, so he could have the same freedom on her body. He was really being so patient, so gentle, and she wanted him to be set free on her.  
"Please stand," Caleb asked in between their heated kissing. "Please. Then I can reach." Jester complied, not letting go of Caleb as she helped pull him up against the wall, and at last, his hands could reach her.  
His calloused hands gently cupped her face as they continued, Jester smiling against his lips as his hair tickled her cheeks. They paused for a moment, as Caleb transitioned himself down her neck, leaving a trail of kisses. His hands trailed against her muscled back, and hers lay still against his chest. Jester closed her eyes, letting go of all her worry and pains. Caleb nipped at her ear, and Jester shuddered in pleasure.  
"Is that too much?" He asked gently, massaging her neck.  
"Mm, no Caleb, that's okay," she responded. "You're not in pain from standing up? Let me know if you need to rest." Caleb shook his head.  
"I am alright." He mumbled against her ear. "I'm...more than alright." Jester giggled softly, then guided Caleb back to her lips. Caleb chuckled softly as well, letting his thumb rest on her chin.  
"You're mine." He nipped her neck gently, and Jester let a moan escape her lips. "And I swear, I'll never take advantage of that again if we ever make it out of here," he gasped against her mouth. "Or as long as we have here...together." She knew he meant that.  
"Mm," she responded, letting him kiss her cheeks, her jaw, her neck... "we will, Caleb. We will."  
Soon, Caleb told Jester he was tired, and they needed to rest. Jester agreed, though sad to end their reconnection so soon. She helped Caleb back down, easing his body into a comfortable position.  
"May I use you as my pillow?" Jester asked gently. "Just anywhere you're not in pain." Caleb nodded groggily, his cheeks thoroughly flushed.  
"Come into my lap, lay on the side that isn't bandaged." Jester beamed, and crawled her way into a spot where she rested her head just below Caleb's. Her body rose and fell with his, as his breathing slowed. She curled her tail behind his torso, holding him close.  
"Goodnight, liebling," he whispered.  
"Goodnight, Caleb," Jester replied, her lids gently shutting. Despite being in a dungeon, she felt safe. And calm. And slightly jittery from the surprise confessions between the two of them. Weird day...wait until I tell mama.  
And with that, the two drifted off to sleep, warm within each other's embrace.

**Author's Note:**

> woo, you made it. have some confetti. widojest is life.


End file.
